


I Blame Myself

by pup



Category: Bastille (Band)
Genre: Double Life, M/M, Secret Agent
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-10
Updated: 2014-10-10
Packaged: 2018-02-20 16:30:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2435474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pup/pseuds/pup
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Dan leaves Will because he has to, and Will does everything he can to disregard this.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Blame Myself

**Author's Note:**

> This..... got out of hand. Enjoy.
> 
> Thank you to Elizabeth juhbluh for being an amazing beta.
> 
> Expect another chapter..... in the future.

Will doesn't know what he's done, but it must've been something bad, because when he wakes up Dan's not there and all of his stuff is gone. 

There's no sign that Dan had ever been there, actually, which is strange because he's almost sure Dan was sleeping right next to him a few hours before. 

Will forces himself out of bed and barely makes it out of the room before a throbbing headache hits. He boils his tea in confusion, not understanding why Dan's mug is gone, or why two of the chairs are busted in half on the ground. Something has gone terribly wrong, and the worst part is he has no idea what.

He pulls out his phone, calling the first number on his speed dial, but gets neither Dan's voice nor his answering machine. Instead, it's a message saying that the phone number has been disconnected. 

_Disconnected_? Will's heart starts to pound, and he needs to take a seat. _Something_ must have happened to Dan, something so horrible that it made him want to leave and Will can't help but think it's his fault.

Will is on the verge of throwing up when he eventually finds it. It's in the sugar jar, of all places, a piece of paper folded up and covered in Dan's sprawled handwriting. His heart skips a beat as he pulls it out, hoping that everything isn't as bad as he feels it is.

_Will,_

_You're most likely very alarmed. Know that I am not upset with you or anything like that._

_They found me. I left for your safety. They want to kill me, and would have killed you too if I hadn't left. Don't try to contact me. I will come back when it's safe, which you have to understand may be never._

_I've been living a double life, and I'm sorry I could never tell you. When I was 18, I killed for the first time. When I was 21, I snuck into Buckingham Palace. Yesterday, after almost five years in hiding, they found me. (Terribly sorry about the chairs, by the way; it was either those or my skull, haha). They drugged you, which is why you've probably got a headache and don't remember anything. I've taken everything with me, so they can't trace me to you._

_Just know that I love you more than anything in the world. Know that it hurts me to leave you, but that it would hurt even more to see you get hurt because I stayed._

_Love,  
Dan_

Will can't breathe, he can't move. All he can do is stand in one spot, clutching the note as his kettle whistles angrily in the background.

Nothing made sense. All he knows is that Dan has left him because someone was trying to hurt him. Someone was trying to hurt the only person he's ever loved and it makes Will seethe with anger. 

He tears his eyes from Dan's writing to look around the room; at the chairs, at the now stained walls, at the spot of blood he's just noticed in the kitchen entrance. He puts the paper down, turns the stove off, and pours his tea as he starts thinking of a plan. He can't just _ignore_ this. He has to do something.

After finishing his breakfast and getting dressed, he puts some belongings in a suitcase, grabs his keys, and leaves. He doesn’t know if he'll come back, just that he has to find Dan, has to feel his lips on his another time, has to know that everything would be okay and that they could go about living their lives just like they always have.

They'd been together for four years, ever since they’d met at a pub where Dan used to perform. Dan had the most dazzling smile Will had ever seen, and when Will asked for his number, Dan nervously obliged. The next week they went on their first date, and that was the beginning of everything for them, everything that had now just been taken away.

He gets into his car and starts to drive. After a few minutes of driving aimlessly, Will realizes he has no idea where he’s even going, so he decides to stop at a bakery to pick something up and sit for a while.

He tries Dan's number again, getting the same message. He can’t believe Dan didn't give him any warning, no way to contact him, nothing.

He takes the note out of his pocket, turning it over a few times before remembering something: the emergency contact. How had the never made him suspicious? Dan had given him a second number a while back, which _must_ have been in preparation for a situation like this. 

He took out his phone with shaking hands, desperate to hear Dan’s voice. All he wanted was to hear that he was okay, that _they_ would be okay, and could be together again and go back to the way things were in the start.

The first time Will kissed him, it was just that. _Will_ kissed _him_. It was quite abrupt and probably uncalled for but the way Dan talked made Will unable to keep his hands off him. Dan had been completely still for a moment before reacting, putting his arms around Will’s body. What he wouldn’t give to do that just one more time.

Will sits tapping his fingers as the phone rang annoyingly. The phone clicks, causing Will to gasp with excitement. 

“You have reached the phone of Daniel, sorry I can’t get to the phone right now, please leave a message!” Will sighs. 

“Dan, I’m coming for you. I don’t get why you’d leave like this, just know that I love you and I’m going to find you and make sure you’re safe,” Will says at the tone.  
Hanging up, he orders a bag of donuts for the road and leaves feeling only slightly better about his situation. Will gets back into his car, deciding to head to the pub where he first met Dan. There was no way that Dan would be there, Will knew that, but it’d be a nice dose of nostalgia, like all the things he couldn’t help but reminisce about now.

The first time Dan spent the night, Will had no intention of, er, _ridding him of his innocence_ , but fate is a funny thing. They’d just planned on eating dinner and watching a film or something (Dan had a strangely large collection of VHS tapes, and Will happened to have a player), which soon turned into making out on the couch, which then became loud fucking in his bedroom. It’d been Dan’s first time with a guy, but that didn’t mean he was bad at it. Oh, not at all.

Halfway to the pub, Will’s phone starts to ring, pulling him out of his little trip down memory lane. His heart races as he answers it through the hands-free in his car. It’s Dan’s emergency contact.

“H-hello?” Will answers nervously.

A beat later there’s a strangled cry and Will’s eyes widen. Screaming comes through the line, screaming that sounds exactly like Dan’s, causing Will to swerve off the road and into the opposite lane, where a car is coming straight towards him. He frantically spins the wheel, getting off the road in the nick of time. 

“Dan!” Will cries, trying to calm down. 

“Ple- _Please! Just let me go!_ ” Dan screams, his voice filling the whole car, “I-” noises of struggle come through, “I’m not done with you! You hear me?!” Dan’s screaming is cut off all of a sudden, replaced with just silence. Will can’t feel anything.

“Never,” an unfamiliar whisper startles Will, “ _Never_ try to contact us, or the same thing will happen to you.” A click disconnects the call as the stranger hangs up.

Will is sweating, shaking, and maybe crying (definitely crying). They killed him. They killed the only man he’s ever loved, the man that made his life shine and brought it meaning. Dan was dead and all Will could do was think of all the things they’d never get.

They were going to get engaged.

Will had planned it all out, he was going to do it on their anniversary in a few weeks and he was going to be the romantic one for once. He was going to live happily ever after but someone had _ruined_ it, and they were going to pay for it. 

Dan moving in with Will was one of the best decisions they’d ever made. Finally they could shag without one of them having to awkwardly borrow a shirt (Will’s were always too big on Dan, and Will stretched out the arm holes and neckline of Dan’s), and they could throw the great parties they’d always dreamt of.

The only problem was Dan’s insistence on making breakfast _every day_. Will would’ve loved this gesture in any other situation, it was just that Dan was absolute shit at making any type of food except toast and occasionally tea. But Will couldn’t say that, Dan was quite sensitive. 

So he forced himself through every ‘crunchy’ plate of scrambled eggs, burnt pancakes, or the worst-- the botched french toasts that Will publicly described as ‘great!’ and ‘zesty!’ but in reality were blackened and _covered_ in pepper.

Will regrets now that he never showed gratitude for those gestures, because now Dan was dead. Dead. And it was his fault.

Oh my god. It was his fault. 

Will gets back on the road, speeding to the pub where he could drown his sorrows and somehow convince himself that this was all a big joke and that Dan is _surely_ coming back soon. 

It was his fault. If he could’ve just let Dan do his thing, let Dan come back when it was safe instead of relentlessly looking for him, then everything would be alright and Dan wouldn’t be gone.

No more slow kisses, no more bad movies, no more fucking late at night even though they both had work the next day. Just an empty bed.

But now Will _has_ to find out who did this. He has to trace Dan and find who did this and show them that they couldn’t get away with this.

Once he gets to the pub, he orders what he always does and sulks in the corner by himself, plotting.

“Willy, man!” a familiar waitress yells out to him, “There you are! Dan was here a few hours ago, looked awfully worried. He said you were sick?” Will’s jaw drops.

“He was… here?” Will stands up frantically.

“Um, yeah? Is there a problem?” 

“I’ve got to go, throw out my order. Did he say where he was going?”

“No, but I did see him drive off that exit,” she points out the large window at the split in the highway, “Is everything okay? Is Dan in trouble?”

“Just…” Will grabs his wallet, “Call the police if I’m not back here in,” he glances at his watch, “Eight hours.”

“Will, is something wrong? I can’t let you leave if you’re in trouble,” she reaches out for his arm.

“I’m fine, okay? Just call the police like I said.” He exits the pub quickly, heart pumping with excitement. _A clue_. This is what he needed. 

He drives, playing a dumb mix-cd Dan made him a year ago that now seems like everything in the world. Listening to the songs, he felt all the sadness from earlier harden into nothing but anger as he remembered all the good things about the two of them together.

Dan had a soft spot for kids. Always volunteered for babysitting (no matter how much Will protested), loved to be around them, was just great with them in general.

They were going to adopt. They were in love, deeply in love, and they were going to share that with a child. But Dan didn’t want to take a step so large if they weren’t married, so Will was going to fix that. But now…

Will keeps his eyes on the road, angrily staring straight ahead.


End file.
